(no subject)

Well Graduation is today. Finally! We have this party we are suppose to attend, but at this point I would rather just blow it off. However, I am going, because I am getting paid to do so. As I type a huge vat of baked beans is in the oven. Smells good. That my contribution.

I hired on to a floor. And I start a week of orienting on Sunday. I am actually very excited. All the nurses and Doctors like me. The only reason really that I am on 3 West, Orthopedics is because I was so heavily recruited by everyone. And well, most people on the floor are not sick. Just recovering from Total Hip Replacements and the like. It's nice to know that you are wanted in such a fashion. I found it suprising, but it's nice. I was also recruited by Nuro. But I can't stand to see people so damaged and reduced to infantile behavior like that. It's... hard. Another floor I could never do is Peds. All those poor babys suffering, most with perminent debilitating, degenerative desiease. I just can't do it! Babys are innocent. At least some, if not most of the adults getting treated in the hospital bring thier illness, upon themselves!

Yesterday I followed physical therapy around. It was awsome! I like their job!

So, in about a month and a half I will be moving out of this place that I now hate coming home to. Things have just progressed too far for me to stand being here. And it is creating a huge amount of needless stress in my life. So, I am moving.

(no subject)

I feel that I am losing one of my closest friends. Rebekah has been making some really bad decisions that have a ripple effect. She is doing things then just shutting her ears to Missa and I when we try to talk to her about how her action are affecting us. I don't know Rebekah any more. I can't talk to Rebekah any more. She is angry all the time now, and when she hurts us she just closes her ears and refuses to listen, or hear us. Another thing. I just found out that she is moving in the fall. To Chicago. For Sarah. With Sarah. I am beyond hurt. I don't have adequate words to describe... what it was like... I heard her say the words, but it was a good 15 seconds before they sunk in to my brain. For all the difficulty we have been having, I never thought... it never crossed my mind.

(no subject)

Jen Jen Jen is coming over for dinner after her math class before her controll class. Should be good. We are having burritos! Tanya is crashing on the couch again tonight too.

Weather has warmed up to the teens! No more freezing toes, hands, or face. Thinsulate is a joke in below zero temps.

Missa's friend Kat from Seattle has been here the last two weeks. Shes over alot. Good thing I don't mind her. Except when she gets hyper.

Bekahs frind Sarah (the Greiving widow, her husband was on the black Hwak that went down Jan 7th has been here since the 10th. Good thing she hasn't come around to the house very often. I don't like her much.

That is all Folks. Looking forward to Portland and possibly california in April!

Start my new job in 6 days! Get to pick up my books and schedual tomorrow.

(no subject)

Well I passed the drug test. PH got my background back today. I apparently check out a-okay. What a surprise! I really thought they would find the thefts, and murders! Must not be a very good background service!

It is cold, cold, cold! In the Negs during the day. I should get that block heater installed. I could do it myself, if I had a garage that wasn't full of garbage.

Had me a little run in with a berm last night. It was pretty cool actually. Nothing damaged, nothing hurt. I was coming off an ramp going east onto a main street, and I guess I was going just a tad too fast. My tail swung too far out and put me in a spin. Since I have rear wheel drive, it is actually rather difficult to spin out. Believe me I have tried to no avail. But anyway, I end up facing West with my rear tires planted in a snow bank! No matter what I tried, litter, rocking, sand, I could not get traction. Help presented itself in the form of a very attractive man around my age with curly hair, nice smile, hot car. I took him up on his offer of help and let him flag down an older gentleman (thank you Ted) with a massive four wheel drive truck and a tow kit to pull me out. Then Clint (Hot dude in hot car) executed a three point turn and got me set to go. I thanked him, gave him a positive answer to his question of Student at UAA, Shook his hand firmly, thanked him again, and drove off. He later pulled up next to me on Tudor and before he turned off towards the dorms smiled, and wrote his phone number on his passenger window in the frost. I laughed and since my light had turned green drove off towards home.

There are definitely moments when it is very rewarding to be 1)female 2)In great shape 3)moderately attractive and 4)out going and assertive.

Looks like I might be flying down with Jada in April/May for a wedding. Mom has asked if Jada can stay a few weeks extra. I think that is a great idea. Mom really misses her. She calls at least every other day to talk to Jada. I thought I might fly down to San Franciso (depending on finances) to see Jenny. I miss that girl with a vengeance.
  • Current Music
    Dog howling from movie Lady and the Tramp

Rants

I am having major issues with Becca. Went to Pete's house (I decided to give him a second chance) on Saturday. He was having some friends over for one last party before Term started back up. Becca kissed him. On the mouth. But honestly, it dosent and it shouldn't matter if it was on the cheek! He was spoken for damn it! She told me that that kind of shit was not going to happen again! This is not the first time she has moved in on someone who was spoken for either. She has absolutely no control, and is actually very much an attention whore. Pete obviously has a problem keeping his lips and hands to him self, so this morning I told him to take a hike. What a waste. I can only be thankful that it came so early in the dating process. It makes it a whole lot easier to call it quits when they prove themselves unworthy so quickly! That sounds so snobbish, but I tell ya, to have standards and to stick by them you have to be tough sometimes. And really if I had let the whole kissing my roomie thing slide that would just be pathetic. I am so proud of myself! So it's back to singlehood... again. Not that I'm not used to it.

Right now I can't and I don't want to talk to Becca. I am very angry with her. She should know better! She knew that I liked this guy. I told her that if she wanted a shot with him then I would step back. I had no problem letting him go at that point. She assured me that I did not need to worry about it. But she selfishly took what she wanted with no regard to my feelings, my wants, my needs, or desires. I am angry! She has been stepping on both Missa and I for two, three months now. Doing shit like kissing people we are seeing, or flirting with a boyfriend. Things have got to change or I will not be calling her friend for much longer. I am tired of her hurting me, or Missa and then getting angry with us when we confront her with the fact that she hurt us! I am sick of her wallowing in self pitty because she finallygot the balls to kick that jack Tyler to the curb. I understand that the loss of a loved one hurts, and takes time to heal, but that does not give her the right to step on people who love her, and expect us to just take it lying down! We have all had to let go of people we loved, cared for because things were going nowhere, or it was unhealthy, or both! Lord give me patience to deal with Becca in a graceful way that is not too abrasive, or in attack mode.

Man I need new friends. I have just a few friends that I consider close. And all but one are messed up emotionally and keep falling into the same damn pattern! People if you call me for advise, you are 1) going to hear me say some things you just don't want to hear and 2) you had better be prepared for me to call you in no uncertain terms stupid, and to deal with it if the situation calls for. Because I am sick and tired of pussy footing around, trying to show other options, give opinions, or just clue you into what I have learned from past experience or lift the blinders off eyes without hurting your feelings! If you call me for advise and if I consider you a close friend, that means we have history. History means that You should be expecting me to call you stupid or crazy for getting engaged two months after you have met a guy, one month after breaking up with the father of your child that you were with for seven years, you can not expect me to jump for joy!

I am tired of people right now. Don't complicate my life just because you complicate yours with pointless drama that you could have avoided in the first place if you had used your brain and thought about the consequences before just jumping in. For the first time in years, I am doing well on all fronts.

Rant over!
  • Current Mood
    Down trodden/disapointed/angry

(no subject)

I LOVE freecycle!

Check it out at freecycle.org.

I just got rid of some old ratty bath towels, three sets of half empty bottles of shampoos with matching conditioners, and two sets of sheets. All I had to do was post them, reply to an email with directions to location, bag them and place them on porch!

I also picked up a floor lamp and a tv stand tonight. All for free except a little time, and gas! Whoo wee!

(no subject)

I am home! Home sickness is an awful thing. Jada seams to be happy and is adjusting well. The flight was hell, but it was a small price to pay. We had a couple of people over for new years eve last night. Pete, a man I have dated a few times was there. It was intresting watching him flirt with Becca. Becca flirted right back. Sad thing is that I did not even care. Obviously Pete has not made an impression. Becca confessed to me that she is very attracted to him. I gave her the go a head. I will do the same with Pete. Seriously, if I can't even work up a little outrage at something like what happend, then there really is no point in continuing to see him. He's very nice, and I hope to continue to see him from time to time, just as friends, as he is a lot of fun.

Jada and I went to church this morning. I had the pleasure of seeing her worship the Lord for the first time in her class. It was beautiful.

Jada and I are enrolling her in preschool tomorrow. The office is closed, so I have the day off. Hopefully the preschool office is open. I will call first thing in the morning.

I left my phone in the hotel we stayed in in Seattle! It is really bother some. I need to call the rents and see if they found it when they looked to see if I had missed anything.

Mediation was... I'm not even how to describe it. There was a whole lot of mud slinging. From both Chris and I. In the end nothing was decided. I guess we will just have to see what develops. I know he dosn't understand my desire or need to be in Alaska. Or my need to have Jada with me. Wishing never makes anything happen so I won't bother to waste my time. But I am at a loss of what action to take now.

I enjoyed seeing old friends. Even though one of my oldest friends blew me off, it was good to reaquaint myself, fact to face, with certain people that I love.

I am tired.

(no subject)

At work blah blah blah...

Must make a list. Have so much to do...

So I hear that while anchorage is having a warm front, Portland and surrounding areas are in a cold snap. What is up with that? I want my white goodness back. It feels like break up. I can venture outside without layers upon layers of clothing without risk of frostbite. I want to ski! I want to snowmachine! I want to build a snowman! Get to it Jack Frost.

Jada answered the phone today when I called. She got really excited and talked my ear of for about 15 minuets. I guess she and grandpa or daddy were suppose to build a snowman but the snow melted too fast and turned to ice. I assured her that there would be plenty of snow to do that when shes up here. She got excited about that. I also told her that if she wants to there is a ballet class for gilrs her age. She said she wanted to do that too. And I kinda want to get her ice skating too. Gotta love the little girls!

Stupid moose was in my yard last night. Ate our pumpkins. I had to sit in the car cause they were practicly on the porch. I decided that getting in the house right that minuet wasn't as important as keeping my life. I honked a few times, but they just looked at me like I was crazy for thinking that a horn would scar them off. I tell you what... non citified moose would have been scared!
  • Current Music
    The pounding in my head

(no subject)

I visited a preschool for Jada today before I went in to work. I was not impressed. But the one I really like, is has a waiting list. I put us on the list. When they call, I will just pull her out of the one shes in and put her in the new one. One of the best things about little kids is how adaptable they are. Jada is pretty adaptable. Oh how I miss her. I am counting down the days. 11 days left to go. I am trying to get things in order so that I can see her right away for a few hours before she goes to Grandpa... geez... this cold weather froze my brain, chris's dad for christmas morning. I really have no idea when I will actually get to see her as Chris and I are still in negotiations.

I... don't want to work. I'm hungry, and my head hurts. I have not shaken off this funk. Ahh.. the joy of being a responsible adult.